This article about The Crossroads of Should and Must in our lives by the artist Elle Luna made me think… She just got to the heart of it.
I always envied – and still do – people who managed to make their live their living, who found their ‘calling’, their passion and managed to transform it into their work. I’m still on the search.. but it feels good to read people like Elle Luna and know that there are many others who feel just the same way.. lost… and who do what they do because they should and not because they must.
There are moments in our lives when you stop and think for a while, looking back and looking at your life at the very moment -with me it’s usually during a pregnancy, it seems – when a new paragraph seems to start in your life and you’re doing a summing-up, an analyse, rethink things.. life and you feel deep inside that somehow it’s not what it’s supposed to feel like.. something is missing..
I always knew how to pursue my dreams, Paris was the place of my dreams and here I am, on the top of that I have the most wonderful man by my side and the most gorgeous little boy I could ever dream of… I always wanted to be an architect, which I am.. only it turns out that my dream job is not really what I dreamt of and that’s where I’m stuck… I go on because that’s my job, that’s what I worked hard for, because I have a good and comfortable position and responsabilities.. but this can’t be the reason for ever.
“This is a story about two roads — Should and Must. It’s a pep talk for anyone who’s chosen Should for far too long — months, years, maybe a lifetime — and feels like it’s about time they gave Must a shot”
It sounds familiar?
Here a little excerpt:
“Should is how others want us to show up in the world — how we’re supposed to think, what we ought to say, what we should or shouldn’t do. It’s the vast array of expectations that others layer upon us. When we choose Should the journey is smooth, the risk is small.
Must is different—there aren’t options and we don’t have a choice.
Must is who we are, what we believe, and what we do when we are alone with our truest, most authentic self. It’s our instincts, our cravings and longings, the things and places and ideas we burn for, the intuition that swells up from somewhere deep inside of us. Must is what happens when we stop conforming to other people’s ideals and start connecting to our own. Because when we choose Must, we are no longer looking for inspiration out there. Instead, we are listening to our calling from within, from some luminous, mysterious place.
Must is why Van Gogh painted his entire life without ever receiving public recognition. Must is why Mozart performed Don Giovani and Coltrane played his new sound, even as the critics called it ugly.Must is why that lawyer in his thirties spent three years writing his first novel only to be rejected by three dozen publishers. He honored his calling, eventually received a “yes,” and that is why John Grisham is a household name today. Must isn’t exclusively for writers and painters and composers, though. Must is why, in the early days, Airbnb sold boxes of cereal to make ends meet because no one would give them money and every conceivable metric said they should quit.” …..
..I like the advice about writing your own obituary
“Roz Savage, a management consultant in London living “the big life” was 33 when she sat down and wrote two versions of her obituary:
The first was the life that I wanted to have. I thought of the obituaries that I enjoyed reading, the people that I admired… the people [who] really knew how to live,” she says. “The second version was the obituary that I was heading for — a conventional, ordinary, pleasant life. The difference between the two was startling. Clearly something was going to have to change… I felt I was getting a few things figured out. But I was like a carpenter with a brand new set of tools and no wood to work on. I needed a project. And so I decided to row the Atlantic.”
Thank you Elle.
p.s. Love the graphics she uses to illustrate her words